


Meant to Be

by TheGleeker101



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst and Feels, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Klaine, M/M, Romantic Fluff, depressed kurt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-06-03 00:06:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6588778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGleeker101/pseuds/TheGleeker101
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Blaine spied on New Directions instead?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meeting You

**Author's Note:**

> So this will be my very first series and I'm really proud of this first chapter. I've always thought about what it would be like of Blaine had spied and not Kurt. So I wrote this.   
> Things you need to know:  
> 1\. The kiss with Dave did happen as this is all set after Carol and Burt married, and Kurt is still traumatized an never told his dad about the death threats or bullying  
> 2\. Sebastian exists now as I really wanted to write in his character because I love his comments like I love Sue's  
> 3\. Finn and Rachel are now still together as this is set before Santana told everyone about her and Finn's adventure  
> 4\. I love Rachel and Kurt's relationship. I always knew deep down they were destined best friends.   
> 5\. I really love how Finn becomes so protective of Kurt after the wedding. It's really adorable and reminds me of the relationship that I don't have with my sister (cries in corner)  
> Also, I'm not very good at writing amazing insults like Sue's and Sebastian"s so I'm going to apologize ahead of time if it doesn't have the same oomf feeling. With all this said, enjoy!

Blaine and Sebastian walked down the parking lot of Mckinley High. There were cheerleaders and jocks everywhere along with a bunch of random kids that were a mix of obvious nerds, goths, and slackers.  
The only reason they were here was because the Warblers made two people go to spy on the competition for Sectionals.  
And of course Blaine and Sebastian were the ones chosen for the job. Which was pretty ironic considering that Blaine was against the idea in the first place, although Sebastian was all for it.  
“This is probably the most cliché school I’ve ever seen. This is why I don’t go to public school.” Sebastian sneered. Blaine rolled his eyes and watched as a curly-haired man walked pass them and shouted, “Hey Finn, did you finish your draft for the project?” A very tall jock spun around and awkwardly smiled, “Of course I did Mr.Schue!” The man gave a thumbs up and started talking to some kid in a wheelchair.  
“I was told I was pretty tall for my age, and I completely believed and told myself that every morning as a try not to make out with my reflection in the mirror. But that was before I saw him….” Blaine chuckled at his snide comment. He was known to be pretty much the only person who could somehow tolerate Sebastian and his quite entertaining commentary.   
“Yeah, well try being in my shoes. I already feel small enough standing next to you.” Sebastian patted him on the back and they both continued walking towards the front doors of the school.   
The last time he had been in a public school, well, it wasn’t an exactly fond experience. And yet here he was. Stuck in another one for a couple weeks.  
Once inside, they walked around the school and tried to find their lockers. Sebastian wanted to go all out, he even actually enrolled them in the school and got them lockers. But otherwise it would have been hard to spy for weeks if they just one day showed up without any proof they were even students there. He was somewhat impressed.  
As they finally found there lockers and opened them, Blaine looked to the left of him and there were a couple of cheerleaders crowded around a boy with a mo-hawk and obviously swooning over him.  
He then looked to the right of him and saw a boy conversing with a small brunette haired girl. There conversation went a little like this:  
“Rachel, please don’t say I’m a lot like you. That’s just cruel.” The auburn-haired boy said jokingly.  
The brunette haired girl named Rachel, apparently, smirked afterwards.   
“Well you are. We both love Broadway musicals, we both swoon over Finn, and we both are the best singers in the Glee Club.” Blaine’s ears perked up as he heard that. So they were part of The New Directions, their competition and the club they were enlisted to join.  
“Rachel, first of all, I swooned over Finn BEFORE he became my brother and my in love turned to ‘love you bro’, and secondly…..I’ll take the compliment of being the best male singer in there.”  
The girl giggled and nodded before walking down a separate hallway. The boy sighed and shut his locker before also walking down that same hallway.  
“So that guy is an instant friend if he is in our new group, but I don’t know if I want to even want talk to him.” Blaine gave Sebastian a questioning look as he explained.  
“You see, Blaine, that is what we call a ‘stereotypical gay’. He has the baby face and the high-pitched voice that make it seem like he never went through puberty and never will, and his fashion sense is only made up of clothes in the woman’s aisle in JC Penny.”  
Blaine rolled his eyes and closed his locker, looking at his schedule. He had chemistry first and he hated chemistry even more than he hated math. He groaned and said a quick goodbye to Sebastian.

 

After 3 hours of classes it was finally time for lunch and Blaine exited his math class and headed toward the cafeteria. On his way, he looked beside him and the boy from this morning was striding beside him. He quickly looked forward as it was awkward knowing he would have to soon trick this guy into being his friend simply to gain info on his Glee Club.   
They were about to round a corner when a bunch of jocks came out of nowhere with cups filled with what looked like slushies in all of their hands. He heard one of them say, “Hey fairy! On your way to lunch.” Blaine looked around wondering who they were talking to before he noticed the boy next to him stopped walking and looked annoyed.  
“Do you guys have a life you need to attend to?” One of the jocks chuckled at him.  
“Yeah, but first we need to make sure you get your daily dose of slushy. Today’s flavor: Cherry.” The boy groaned and was about to say something but was instead showered with red fluid.  
Blaine jumped back as four slushies were hurled the boys way and coated him with it. The boy himself gasped loudly as the cold substance hit him. The jocks broke into laughter and practically skipped down the hallway.   
The boy had dropped his bag during the whole thing and once Blaine was over his shock, he dipped down to pick it up before he heard the boy shout. “Don’t!” Blaine looked up and saw the boy glaring at him.  
“Don’t think I don’t know what your going to do. Your going to pick up and pretend your going to give it to me before you chuck it down the hallway to make things even worse than they already are fore me.”  
Blaine retorted, “Actually, I was going to pick it up and carry it for you while you clean yourself up. With my help of course.”  
The boy sighed, “I’m sorry. I’m just really pissed.” Blaine shook his head. “No, it’s okay. Come on, lets go to the bathroom.”  
The boy nodded and they strutted to the nearest bathroom, after Blaine texted Sebastian to save him a seat.

Once in the bathroom, Blaine didn’t need to help at all. He watched as the boy bent his head over the sink and washed the ice out of his hair and took a rag out of his bag to wash his face. Once done with that, the boy then went into a stall and changed clothes in literally 6 minutes, which was very surprising because of how many layers this kid was wearing.  
After all this silence Blaine decided to speak up. “So does this happen often?”  
The boy looked at him and laughed, “And what makes you think that?” Blaine smiled, “Well, you seem like you know this whole routine inside and out.  
The kid nodded. “Yeah, once every day. That’s why I bring a change of clothes.” The kid ringed out the rag and put it back in his back.  
“By the way, I’m Kurt Hummel.” Kurt held out his hand and Blaine took it.  
“Blaine Anderson. I’m new here. I transferred with a friend.” Kurt smiled and turned to pick up his bag.   
“Well, I hope you guys like it here. Any clubs?” Blaine swallowed. This is where his lying would begin.   
“Actually, I wanted to join Glee, and so does my friend.” Kurt’s eyes widened and after a second the surprise in his eyes turned into happiness. “Good! Cause Glee definitely needs some new voices.” Blaine smiled and followed Kurt out into the hallway.  
“So I how do I join.” Kurt stopped and responded, “Well, you have to audition but unless you completely and utterly suck, I don’t think you’ll have trouble making the cut. You or your friend.” Blaine nodded and was going to start walking again but Kurt continued, “But, I shall warn you that joining Glee will guarantee you a slushy once a week and no popularity at this school. You’ll pretty much be a official loser.” Blaine hated the thought of getting those cold drinks thrown in his face but realized something in Kurt’s statement.   
“Once a week…..then why do you get one every day?”   
Kurt simply shrugged and said, “Isn’t it obvious?” Blaine could tell what he was hinting at and he hated that he did. Kurt looked at him with a worried face.   
“You don’t mind do you?” Blaine shook his head. “Of course not. It would be weird if I did since I’m gay too.”  
Kurt smiled gently and the look on his face made Blaine excited for some reason. “I didn’t want to say anything because the last time I assumed a guy was gay didn’t turn out as well as I planned. But I’m kinda happy. Not to push any boundaries or anything, but I’m glad there will be someone here that gets it.” Blaine’s smile widened.  
But as Kurt started again towards the cafeteria, Blaine’s smile faded as he realized what was going to come of this.  
He was going to deeply hurt his soon to be best friend.

Blaine followed Kurt inside and scanned the room for Sebastian. He found him sitting next to the Rachel girl he saw earlier and once seeing Kurt sit over there as well, assumed that was the Glee Club.  
He strode over there and sat down next to a Kurt, who had pulled a chair out for him. He smiled at the boy and sat down.  
“Well where were you two?” Sebastian shot a wink towards Blaine and before he could speak Kurt decided to. “Well I got slushied. I had to clean myself up.” The guy with a mo-hawk glared at a table full of the other jocks. “Kurt, if you say the word I’ll just beat the cap out of them for you.” Kurt chuckled, “Thanks Puck, but you can’t get suspended again.”  
The really tall guy from this morning hissed, “Then I’ll do it.”   
Kurt sighed, “Not you too Finn.”  
Ah, so this was Kurt’s brother he was talking about. “But I promised I’d protect you. And I intend to keep that promise.” Kurt smiled a genuine smile. Finn was a real brother.  
“I know, but just don’t okay? We can’t have you of all people suspended, you are the leader remember?” Finn mumbled something under his breathe and stuffed a piece of bread in his mouth. Blaine looked around. This was The New Directions. And he looked beside him at Kurt who was engrossed in a conversation with Rachel.   
He felt something move inside him and he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. He found himself wondering if him meeting Kurt the way he did meant something he couldn’t describe.   
But in that instant he knew only one thing. Meeting Kurt was the only reason being at a public school didn’t seem so bad after all.


	2. I'll Protect You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've decided to put out a new chapter every week, probably on Fridays or sometime over the weekend. I don't know how many chapters this is going to be, but I'm really excited to be writing this. Hope you guys are enjoying this and I've been thinking about taking suggestions for what you guys want in each new chapter. In fact, you can put an event or song you would like me to write in the comments and I'll see what I can do. I thought it would be fun to have my readers included. But anyway, here's the new chapter, hope you enjoy it!  
> Also, I'm going to start touching on Kurt's depression, so prepare for the feels to start coming.

Blaine and Sebastian walked into what was known as the choir room, pretty much the Glee Club’s home. They had already auditioned and both of them made the cut.  
They weren’t the first ones in there. Mercedes, Rachel, Kurt, and Finn were at the very top laughing about something. Tina was snuggling with Mike, and Artie was glaring at them for some reason.  
And finally, Quinn was talking to Sam while Brittany and Santana were also talking. Blaine and Sebastian sat down in two empty seats right below Kurt and Mercedes waiting for Mr. Schue to appear.  
Everybody already knew them from lunch so they didn’t need to introduce themselves but nobody really seemed to notice them. Well, except Santana who was winking at Blaine when they happened to meet gazes.  
“Hey, maybe you should ask her out.” Blaine sighed, “And why would I? You do remember I’m gay right.” Sebastian nudged him on the arm.  
“I just thought it would be funny if you pretended to like her and date her for a couple of days before telling her she turned you gay and break up.” Blaine glared at Sebastian as he laughed.  
Blaine really did wonder how he never wanted to punch Sebastian in the face. Maybe it was because he just wasn’t the violent type.  
Kurt poked Blaine’s shoulder to get his attention and he turned to face him.  
“Blaine, just thought I would let you know that Rachel wants to have a diva off with you.”  
A diva off?? What the heck was that? And why did Rachel want to do one with him.  
It seemed like Kurt could tell he was confused because he started giggling and said, “In case you didn’t know, a diva off is when you and Rachel sing a song and sees who sings it best.” Blaine made a realization face but still asked, “Well, why does she want to have one with me?”  
Before Kurt could answer him Rachel practically pushed Kurt out of his seat and answered for him.  
“You see Blaine, I heard your audition and your voice sounded pretty okay so I instead of having another diva off with Kurt, I want to show how great my voice sounds when it’s beating yours.”  
Kurt glared at the girl and pushed his way back into his seat. “Sorry Blaine. Rachel thought you were possibly better than her and wants a confidence boost by breaking all your hopes and dreams.” Blaine chuckled and let Rachel know that he rather not and started a conversation with Kurt about his bow-ties that Kurt has gone crazy for.  
After what seemed like forever, Mr. Schue finally walked in and started talking about their next lesson. Their assignment was to sing a song about love. The assignment was going to be a piece of cake for actual couples, especially Rachel. Not so much for the few who were single. Which included Blaine, Sebastian, Mercedes, Artie, and Kurt. Sebastian just rolled his eyes.  
"It's okay, I'll just dedicate a song to me myself." Blaine sighed. He didn't know how singing about romance was going to help New Directions win sectionals, but he chose not to think too much about it. He looked behind him at Kurt and saw him playing with his sleeve. It was obvious that the lesson made Kurt feel lonely. Blaine remembered Mercedes talking about how hard it was for Kurt to be the only openly gay person at school. Blaine at least had Sebastian and other students at Dalton that were open about their sexuality. Kurt didn't have anyone. And Blaine felt even more terrible that soon, he would leave Kurt all alone again when he went back. It just made him wish he stayed at Dalton. Even if meant not meeting Kurt, because no matter what, Kurt wouldn't want to be his friend when they revealed their lies.  
"Blaine?"  
Blaine blinked several times before he realized Kurt was talking to him. It seems that Kurt eventually noticed Blaine staring at him for some reason.  
"I was thinking about something. Sorry." Kurt shook his head and smiled. That smile made Blaine's heart flutter for some reason.  
"What were you thinking about?" Kurt cocked his head to the side.  
"I was thinking about how awkward it feels to be preparing to sing a love song when you don't have anyone to dedicate it to." Kurt giggled.  
"Don't worry, I know how you feel. I hate these lessons, even though I'm a romantic. I hate singing songs without feelings behind it, but apparently I have to sing a love song when I don't love anyone." Blaine nodded slowly.  
"Kurt, you dedicate a song to Finn!" Puck belted across the room. Kurt shot him a deadly glare and rolled his eyes. Finn just laughed. Kurt's past crush on Finn had become a running joke throughout the Glee friends, even to Kurt himself. Now that they were brothers, he just shuddered at the thought of dating Finn. After afternoon practice finished, everyone filed out of the classroom except Kurt, who was in the middle of putting his things away. Blaine was walking with Sebastian before he realized he had forgotten his phone in the Glee Club room and went to go fetch it. He got up to the door and peered inside, Kurt was there. But something seemed off. He was just sitting there staring at the floor, as if he was thinking about something very serious. After a few seconds Kurt exhaled a deep breath and it didn't take long for Blaine to realize that Kurt was fighting back tears. He wiped his eyes before standing up and heading towards the other door and walking down the hallway slowly. Blaine took this moment to hop inside the classroom and find his phone, which was on the chair he had been sitting on. He picked it up and before leaving, glanced at the chair Kurt had been sitting on. Why had Kurt been on the verge of tears? That question remained with Blaine for the rest of the day and he found himself worrying about it more than he needed to. Maybe Kurt was more upset at not having someone to dedicate the song to than he had let on. Or it could be something else. Blaine shook his head. He knew there was something wrong with Kurt and he wanted to find out what. 

 

The next day, Rachel was first to sing, to no one's surprise. She sang The Only Exception, which was obviously directed towards Finn, and it was a very touching performance. Next was Quinn and Sam, who sang Lucky, and it was also a very good performance. No one else was ready so they started talking about other stuff.  
"Has anyone seen Kurt?" Mr. Schue asked.  
"I just talked to him this morning at our lockers." Rachel replied, confusion in her voice. It had taken a while, but it finally became apparent that Kurt wasn't with them in the room. And if Rachel talked to him, that meant Kurt was indeed at school.  
The image of Kurt crying popped into Blaine's mind and he reacted almost instantly. He asked to go to the bathroom and proceeded to go and look for Kurt. The first place he checked was the auditorium and after finding him not there, decided to check the bathrooms. Sure enough he walked into the first nearest one and saw Kurt standing by the sink wiping his face with a towel. He had obviously been slushied and was spending the morning practice cleaning himself up.  
Kurt looked at Blaine and smiled the most saddest smile ever. It made Blaine's heart hurt.  
"I got slushied yet again. And this time, every single jock decided to do it. At the same exact time. I'm surprised I was able to scrub it all off." Blaine just looked at Kurt with pain in his face. He could tell Kurt was undeniably more effected than he was letting on, and Blaine didn't know what to do. He wanted to hug him, but he thought it would be weird since they had only known each other for a week now. So he just patted Kurt and the shoulder, to which Kurt thanked him.  
As they walked back to the choir room, Blaine looked at Kurt's face and all he could see was the pain in the kid's eyes. Blaine knew what it was liked to be bullied, and he knew it was a terrible thing to go through. Despite barely knowing him, Blaine just couldn't help but feel like Kurt didn't deserve this even more. And the worst part, none of his friends seemed to notice. What kind of friends were they if a complete stranger could tell Kurt was in pain and they couldn't. If they didn't notice something, Kurt's pain might get worse or Kurt would start to feel like they didn't care. And Blaine thought of the worse thing possible. If they didn't hurry up and realize their friend was miserable, Kurt might fall into depression and have.....thoughts.  
And so Blaine made a promise to himself. He promised to make sure he would be there for Kurt no matter what in his time here at Mckinley. He just had to become Kurt's best friend no matter what. As they finally reached the choir room door, Blaine put a hand a Kurt's shoulder and just simply smiled. And for a split second, he could have sworn he saw the pain in Kurt's beautiful blue eyes disappear.


	3. Your Self-Hate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Got this one out early because I've had a lot of free time this week. I decided I wanted to spend this chapter exploring Kurt's depression only. So no Blaine, just Kurt and his thoughts. Which means there's pretty much no dialogue. Hope you enjoy and prepare for some feels.  
> Also I would like to say something (sorry if this is too personal).  
> I know first hand what it's like to be depressed and bullied for being gay. Even now I can't walk down the hallway holding hands with my girlfriend without getting a few glares not only from students, but from teachers too. It's a horrible feeling knowing who I am is disgusting to other people. But talking to a friend or family really helped me. So for anyone who is dealing with depression, know your not alone and that there is people who will help you through it. And always love who you are. As the great Lady Gaga once sang, you were born this way!

Kurt laid down on his bed and released a huge sigh. Besides Glee, Kurt hated school. It was tough being the only openly gay kid, well, besides Blaine. But at this point, the school saw Blaine as the straightest gay kid so no one had picked on him yet, to which Kurt was slightly happy. He didn't want Blaine, who seemed like such a nice guy, to go through what he went through everyday.  
You were on the bottom of the food chain if you were in Glee, and that was a fact. So once a week you got slushied and called a loser. But it was different for Kurt. Everyday he got slushied, called a fag/fairy, thrown in dumpsters, and slammed against lockers. He had bruises all over his back, so he refused to change in front of anyone, and he was terrified anytime a locker slammed shut or he turned the corner. He would never admit that, at least, not anytime soon. He tried his very best to act like it didn't bother him, like it wasn't even happening. But truth was, he was very bothered by it and he knew more than anything that this was happening.   
People were sympathetic, and his friends in Glee said they knew what it was like. However, they really didn't know what it was like at all.   
Sure, they got slushied every so often and called nothing but a loser, but that was for being in a certain club. Kurt, on the other hand, was being treated this way because of who he was as an individual.   
The jocks and quiet on-lookers hated who he was as a person, and it hurt him more than anyone thought it did. Before Glee, he had thought about killing himself. That no one would care that he was gone. And even though he now actually had friends, there were times that the thought still crept back into his head. He would think about the pros and cons and write them down.

 

Pros:   
1\. I would be released from this hell

2\. Finn wouldn't have a gay brother

3\. Dad wouldn't get punished for having a gay son

4\. I wouldn't get punished for being gay

 

Cons:  
1\. My friends in Glee would be sad

2\. I wouldn't experience romance

3\. Dad, Finn, and Carole would be sad

 

And that was all he could ever write down. He would then crumble up the piece of paper and bury it deep in his trash can so his dad never found it. Sometimes while lying on his bed, he would think about why God, if he actually existed, would do this to him.   
Like he had said when his dads heart attack happened. First God made him gay, had his followers telling him he was broken and that he was going to hell, almost killed his father after killing his mother,and made his main bully sexually assault him and then proceed to threat him.  
Kurt shuddered at the thought and closed his eyes tight. That day in the locker room still haunted him.   
Karofsky had forcefully kissed him and then warned him that if he were to tell anyone, he would end his life. He may have been lying, but he also may have been telling the truth. If the huge burly boy could forcefully assault him and get away with it, there was no telling what else he would do. What if he assaulted him again knowing Kurt was too scared to tell anyone? What if he hurt him no matter if he told or not?   
Kurt didn't know what to do anymore. He no longer went to the bathroom during class, and he refused to be in a secluded area. He was scared, and even more broken over the fact that he couldn't even tell anyone about it.   
He must have done something terrible. Otherwise, why him? All he wanted to do was go to school, love who he wanted to love, sing with his friends, and make all his dreams come true.   
But it seemed like he would never be able to do that.  
Kurt put his face in his pillow and silently sobbed. He wanted to get his crying out of the way before Finn or his dad came home. Kurt whimpered as he rolled onto his side and hugged his stomach.   
Why wasn't he allowed to be happy? Why did he have to go home extra early just to cry by himself? Why did he have to hate himself so much?   
Kurt could never find the answers to any of those questions. All he could accept was that he was nasty and that he deserved it all. At least, he tried to convince himself that.   
He heard a car roll into the driveway and he immediately sat up and rubbed his eyes dry before heading upstairs to say hello to whoever had come home.  
Finn walked through the door and headed straight for the kitchen. Kurt chuckled. Finn was always hungry when he came home and was deeply in love with grilled cheese sandwiches. Kurt sighed and sat on the couch, staring off into space. He wondered if he could possibly tell Finn before instantly shaking his head. First of all, Finn would probably beat the ever living shit out of Karofsky, and second, he was too scared. The bully would find some way to harm him even if Finn beat him up.   
There was no way he could tell any of the others because they would possibly start a riot and he didn't like the idea of New Directions becoming murderers.   
It was stupid to even think of telling anyone. In the end, his fear got the better of him. It just wasn't possible to fess up, knowing the bully would do anything to hurt him.  
He soon headed back down to his room so he could finish up his homework before going to bed.   
And for a small second, he wished he would fall asleep and never wake up.


	4. Telling My Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in a fit of happiness, me and my now fiance have been up all day typing up a special long chapter for you guys because we were bored out of our minds after having too much fun celebrating.   
> So I don't know if you guys get it yet but she said yes, and we're on our way to building a happy life with one another! I know I said I wouldn't put out a chapter for another week but I've gotten a lot of support from you guys and I just wanted to say thank you for everything. Plus I'm just feeling really generous right now after all the happiness that has gone down these last 4 days. And there's a couple things you should take note of before reading this chapter:
> 
> 1\. There has been a bit of a time skip because I really want to get past the whole Karofsky thing so I can't start on the real story, but it's not a big time skip.  
> 2\. My girl.....fiance(wow that was weird to write haha) is in love with Sebastian's character so she made me give him a bigger role now in the chapter. I really want to see if I can make him start wanting to be friends with Kurt just cause it's something I've always wanted to see happen.  
> 3\. I love all you guys so much. You have no idea how much I appreciate all your guys support. Thanks a lot for everything!  
> 4\. Enjoy!

Blaine and Sebastian walked towards their lockers and slumped against them. They were tired beyond thought and wanted nothing more than to crawl back in bed and sleep the day away. Unfortunately, they had spying to do. Blaine moaned, "How much longer do we have to do this for?"   
"A week before Sectionals, which is three weeks away." Sebastian turned to his locker and opened it, taking all his needed materials out. Blaine looked to the side of him and perked up at the sight of Kurt striding towards his locker. He was wearing the cutest outfit, and Blaine couldn't help but think Kurt looked really good in bright red, tight pants. Kurt noticed him looking and smiled warmly. "Hi Blaine. You look not exhausted at all." Kurt said in a wonderfully sarcastic tone. Blaine just chuckled, "Do I now?" He heard Sebastian groan beside him. Kurt shot him a sympathetic look before saying, "Having a bad morning Seb?"   
Sebastian shot a glare at Kurt, "Oh no, I'm totally just groaning for the fun of it. And by the way, my name's Sebastian, not Seb." Kurt just rolled his eyes and opened his locker. Blaine just continued to smile and take out his needed books. For some reason, his exhaustion just disappeared once Kurt had shown up. Maybe it was because Kurt had this aura of energy around him whether he was shooting snarky comments or smiling that precious smile Blaine had become so found of. He knew shouldn't get attached, or even worse, let Kurt get attached to him. But he couldn't help it. Kurt was just one of those people you couldn't ignore even if you tried. And with all the bullying Kurt was putting up with, it was hard to not want to befriend the guy. He knew doing this was going to come back to bite him in the butt, but it had come to be this way.   
Blaine came back to reality when he heard a loud bang beside him. He and Sebastian quickly looked to the left and held their breathe. Kurt was smashed up against the lockers with a pained expression on his face.   
"Why don't you watch where you're standing fairy!" Karofsky spat and walked down the hallway. Blaine swear he saw Sebastian throw him the nastiest look before turning to Kurt, "Are you okay?" Kurt glanced at Blaine and Sebastian with his sad blue eyes and nodded before gathering his stuff and quickly limped to his first class. A feeling of pain filled Blaine's chest yet again. He could see Kurt trying to act strong but he just knew that Kurt was suffering deep inside. It just made him feel worse about lying to him. In a few weeks, he would probably hurt Kurt just as much as the bullies at his school did. It made him feel like the worst person in Ohio. Sebastian patted Blaine's shoulder as if reading his mind. "I'm going to be honest with you Blaine. I feel bad for the kid, and it pains me knowing we are going to hurt him in three weeks. But we have to stay focused and get this info." Blaine nodded in a bit of surprise. Sebastian feeling bad for someone was not exactly normal. Usually he just made fun of people in stressful situations. And even if he did feel for someone other than himself, he would never openly admit it. So, did this mean that for once, Sebastian was a real human being? Though that sounded cruel, if you knew Sebastian like Blaine and the Warblers did, it was a serious question to be asked.   
Sebastian tugged on Blaine's shoulder and they walked down to both their first classes.  
Lunch time eventually came around and all the New Directions sat down at their table and started talking about the week's assignment. Blaine and Sebastian had become accustomed to chiming in and giving their opinions. Sebastian was listening to Santana directing height jokes at Rachel when he looked over at Kurt. He was just staring down at his food at twiddling his thumbs, every so often looking behind his shoulder. Sebastian glanced at the direction Kurt was looking at and saw Karofsky motioning to his lips in a creepy manor. He looked back and Kurt and saw his face flushed with fear and disgust. Sebastian thought for a second before piecing a couple of pieces together. He stood up suddenly and tapped Kurt on the shoulder.   
"Can I speak to you in the hallway?" Kurt looked at him in confusion before slowly nodding and standing up to follow Sebastian into the hallway. Everybody stared after them in confusion, Blaine and Finn especially, before brushing it off and going back the their conversations.

"So, what did you need to talk about?" Kurt questioned as he leaned against the lockers behind him. Sebastian simply stared at him for a few seconds before hesitantly talking. "Kurt, I don't usually give a flying crap about anybody but myself and Blaine. So I think you should consider yourself lucky that I feel even a tablespoon of guilt for your whole 'only openly gay kid being bullied by closet homosexual' cliche. And don't stop me because I know for a fact that burly beast is gay because I saw him checking out some guy's ass the other day. But anyway, I can't help but notice that he seems to be way too much into harassing you. And if I know any better, then him giving you kissy faces means that he's either just now flirting with you or something between you two happened and he's mocking you knowing it upsets you."   
Kurt continued to look completely shocked as Sebastian continued. "So, in a act of unexpected kindness that is extremely rare for me to give, I want to offer you some mentoring." Kurt gulped and knew instantly what Sebastian's next question would be.  
"Kurt, did Karofsky do anything....sexually to you?" Kurt looked down at his shoes. He was not about to let someone find out and get killed. "No, he's just making fun of me that's all. It's nothing you need to be worried about." Sebastian shook his head.  
"I know you're lying to me or just not telling the whole story, but if you don't want me to help you that's fine. I don't blame you for not trusting me, heck, I wouldn't trust me. But you need to tell someone Kurt. You can't keep everything locked inside or nothing is going to get better. If you rather suffer silently, that's up to you. Just don't come crying to me when you regret doing so." And with that Sebastian walked back into the cafeteria. He knew it was a mean way of approaching it, but Kurt needed to be pushed if he was ever going to get all of this to stop. And as Sebastian sat down with a few questioning looks from everyone else, he found himself wondering why he cared so much. He hated people, with the exception of himself and Blaine, and he never let himself worry over other people's problems. There was just something about Kurt that made him want to help the poor kid. He just came to the conclusion that Blaine's goody-two-shoes attitude was rubbing off on him and shot Blaine a 'thanks a bunch' look, confusing the other.

Kurt just let out a deep sigh and sat down on the floor. He had come this close to having the secret spilled and he was terrified. Sebastian knew that something had happened. And he was the last person he wanted his secret to be known by. But maybe he was right. If he kept quiet about this for too long, nothing was going to improve. It was honestly driving him off the edge not talking about. Sure he cried at home, but it appeared like he wasn't feeling any better by doing so. He needed someone to talk to, someone's shoulder to cry on. And what surprised him was that the first person to come to mind was Blaine. He hadn't known Blaine for too long, but they had been hanging out a lot lately and he would be lying if he said he didn't have a small crush on him. Giving the fact that Blaine was also gay made it seem like his crush wasn't that hopeless. And he felt like Blaine was his best friend. They had started doing homework at each other's house and meeting up for coffee over the weekend, talking about their favorite vogue covers and other personal stuff. So, maybe he could talk to Blaine. He couldn't see himself telling anyone else, not even his dad. He thought about it and made a decision. He was going to tell Blaine tonight while they were working on a Chemistry project. He nodded, stood up, and walked into the cafeteria.

Kurt and Blaine were sitting in Blaine's car on their way to his house. They had the radio turned up to Teenage Dream and sat there in comfortable silence. Kurt was looking out the window, preparing himself to tell Blaine the secret he'd been hiding for so long. He knew he was probably going to cry when he finally told him, but he had no doubt that Blaine wouldn't judge him. Blaine kept glancing at Kurt, smiling at the boy. He had been wondering what Sebastian had talked to Kurt about but didn't worry about it too much. Kurt didn't seem upset, rather he looked relieved, so he took it as a sign that whatever they had talked about was not bad. And if Kurt was happy, so was he. Blaine had been thinking recently. He had always wondered why he felt so happy around Kurt, and from the moment he met him too. He always caught himself staring at Kurt or silently complimenting him for his beautiful eyes and smile, that made him feel like he was on cloud nine. And somewhere along the line, he had came to the conclusion to protect Kurt's happiness no matter what. He didn't know what this feeling was, because he had never felt it before, and why towards Kurt. He simply shrugged to himself as they pulled up into his driveway. He would find a answer another day.  
After 2 hours of working and eating dinner, Blaine was about to suggest taking Kurt home for the night when Kurt said, "Blaine, there's something I need to tell you." Blaine looked at Kurt and the expression on his face made him instantly worried. He looked scared. "What is it?" Kurt sat down on the bed and caught his breath. Blaine sat down next to him and wrapped his arm around Kurt, he could tell whatever Kurt was about to tell him was serious.   
"Well, I've been hiding this from everybody and I just can't take it anymore. I need to tell somebody Blaine. And I'm choosing you, because I trust you and I consider you my best friend." Blaine nodded slowly and waited for Kurt to start. "About a week or so before you and Sebastian transferred here, I had a certain event happen between me and Karofsky. He had pushed me into a locker and I guess something in me snapped so I ran after him in the locker room and started calling him out. He started to get really angry and I thought that he was going to punch me but..." Kurt trailed off, tears starting to form in his eyes. He glanced at Blaine but couldn't read his expression through all the tears gathering in his eyes. He just simply continued. "In the middle of saying a insult...he...he kissed me." Blaine let out a gasp as Kurt broke down in his arms. Karofsky kissed Kurt....as in...he sexually assaulted him. Kurt let out sob after sob and melted in Blaine's embrace. It felt so good to finally tell someone and cry. It felt even better knowing it was Blaine.   
Blaine's eyes began to water as well, seeing Kurt in such a state, knowing Karofsky had done something so cruel. "Why didn't you tell anyone before?"  
"He said....he said...he would kill me.." Kurt let out between sobs. Blaine began to shake with anger. How dare he do this! Making someone as amazing and kind as Kurt suffer like this. He wanted to walk to Karofsky's house and beat the shit out of him. After a while Kurt calmed down and simply laid in Blaine's warm arms.   
"Thanks for listening Blaine. It feels a lot better talking to someone. I'm sorry if I wasted your time." Blaine shook his head. "Don't you dare apologize Kurt. You did not waste my time. I'm actually really happy you trust me enough to tell me this. And I have to say, we need to tell a person with authority. Like your dad or a staff member. If you let him get away with this, he might think it's okay to do something even worse." Kurt nodded. "I know. And I will. I'll probably tell my dad tomorrow, but right now I just want to rest." Kurt slid away from Blaine and looked at him with hope in his face. "Why are you so nice to me Blaine? I've done nothing but cause you trouble with my problems. You didn't come to Mckinley to be caught up in a bunch of drama." Blaine's face softened.   
"Because I care about you Kurt. Like you said, your my best friend." Kurt smiled warmly back. "Thanks Blaine. For everything." Blaine gave Kurt one last hug. "Anything for you."   
The ride back was again spent in comfortable silence. In all the times Kurt had cried by himself in his room, he had never felt as good as he did now. It was a huge weight off his shoulders being able to talk to someone about this. If talking to Blaine mad him feel this good, telling his dad was probably going to feel ten times better. And it made him come to the realization that there was no way Karofsky would kill him. Once he confessed to the death threat, surely he would be made sure to be protected from the bully. All he was afraid of now is his dad being the one to become a murder once he found out about all of this. And as they pulled up to his driveway, he glanced over at Blaine lovingly. He felt so lucky to have such an amazing best friend. He just wished he could smother the guy in kisses and speak of his undying love for him. But of course he couldn't do that, at least, not tonight. Blaine turned to Kurt and gave him a hug.  
"I promise I won't let him hurt you again Kurt. I promise." Kurt returned the hug and then proceeded to open the door. Before shutting it he replied,"Thanks again Blaine. You have no idea how much tonight meant to me." Blaine smiled and watched as Kurt went inside. He noticed his heart start to beat faster at the thought of Kurt's smile. It all made sense now. This feeling he had inside, he had found the answer. The reason why Kurt's smile and happiness meant so much to him. The reason why he wanted to protect him from any and all sadness. The reason why he looked forward to seeing Kurt every day. The reason why he always caught himself staring at him with a warm feeling overtaking his chest.  
He liked Kurt.


	5. Your Happiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's another chapter. I decided to go ahead and do another time skip(but it's only a couple days) because I wanted to start the real story that I'm writing this for. Something is about to go down and it ain't going to be pretty. I feel bad for what I'm putting Kurt through. Also, I promise I'm not rushing if you think so after reading this chapter. There's going to be a lot of chapters so there's plenty of room for what's to come. I feel really happy about it. I promise it gets better from here so sit back, relax, and enjoy.

A few days has passed and after confessing to his dad about the locker shoves, slushies, dumpster throws, kiss and death threat, Kurt's dad was able to get Karofsky expelled and told his family that they were lucky he wasn't pressing charges. Kurt was more than relieved at the thought of going to school without fear of being killed or sexually assaulted again. He even got a good nights sleep for once. And he had no one to thank but Blaine. If it wasn't for him, he would've never gained the courage to tell his dad about anything.  
Blaine, on the other hand, was just as relieved as Kurt was. He could tell Kurt had become way more happy as soon as Karofsky was announced expelled. Now that he had realized his feelings for the amazing boy, he couldn't help but be nervous to go to school with Kurt. Now that his main bully was gone, Kurt had this new glow to him that made Blaine realize just how wonderful he was. Kurt had these beautiful blue eyes that reminded Blaine of the ocean, a smile that could possibly make him faint, hair that he would die for, a voice that sounded like an angel, and a figure that Blaine couldn't help but drool over. But it didn't just come down to his appearance. Kurt was sassy, kind, sensitive, selfless, and smart. It made Blaine smile when he thought about how fast he had fallen for him. But it made him regret his spying in a whole new way. There was no way he could start a relationship with Kurt, whether it was before or after he confessed his lie. If he started one before, it would make Kurt even more heartbroken then he would already be if he told him as a friend. And there was no possible way that Kurt would as much as go on a date after he found out. It was hopeless. But until then, he was going to make sure that Kurt's happiness would be around for a long time, even if it killed him. It would be hard, because every time he saw Kurt he just wanted to hug and kiss him to death, but he could get through this.  
He walked into school and immediately made his way to his locker and smiled so big it made his face hurt when he saw Kurt spraying his hair. God, he was so freaking adorable! "Hey Kurt." Kurt glanced at Blaine and grinned, "Hey Blaine. Are you having as fantastic of a morning as I am?" Blaine opened his locker and started putting his books into his book bag. "I am. But only because I've never seen you this happy in the few weeks I have known you." Kurt giggled. "That's because I've never been this happy in a long time. I can walk these halls without worrying of being kissed against my will or murdered, and it's all thanks to you." Kurt patted Blaine's shoulders, which made his heart skip a beat. "Blaine, I don't know how I'll ever be able to make it up to you. I'm sorry I took up so much of your time." Blaine sighed. Kurt kept saying sorry for some reason. "Kurt, how many times do I have to tell you to stop apologizing. Your my best friend and it was no burden at all to help you feel safe. And you don't have to 'make it up to me' because it's just what friends do. Okay?" Kurt nodded shyly and blushed. How did someone like him end up with such a great friend? "Hey there Kurtie, Blaine." Sebastian said as he swung open his locker. Blaine simply looked at him and went back to talking to Kurt. "Well then, not even a good morning? Blaine, I understand that your desperately trying to get in Kurtie's impossibly tight pants but I at least deserve a few minutes of your attention." Blaine rolled his eyes and let out a huff of annoyance. Sebastian scoffed and sighed. "And now your giving me attitude. It's fine, I won't get in the way of your raging hormones." Sebastian smirked and nudged Blaine's shoulders as he walked away, leaving Blaine chuckling and Kurt red as a firetruck. "Anyway, we should get to class. I'll see you at lunch!" Blaine said as he closed his locker and practically skipped to first period.  
Kurt himself smiled warmly and stared after Blaine. If only what Sebastian said was true. Ever since their talk, Kurt's feelings for Blaine had grown immensely. He wanted to show his feelings more than anything, but he knew how that would end from experience. He was just glad that Blaine was actually gay so he had a chance, and a fair one at that. He patted himself on the back for not falling for another straight guy, or someone that would be a future brother. 

The day passed by quickly and soon it was finally time to go home. Kurt and Blaine had decided to go get coffee before heading home and talked about a mixture of things. At some point they found themselves discussing their past, about how Blaine was chased away by bullies and how Kurt joined Glee. "Wow, so Rachel was in that many clubs?" Kurt nodded and sipped his coffee. "It's ridiculous. I don't know how she does it, not that I couldn't or anything. I was impressed at first, but now it just seems crazy." Blaine laughed. "Well, she is Rachel Berry after all." Blaine checked his phone for texts and nothing. "But, she was the first person to ever have an actual conversation with me without calling me a name, throwing a slushy at me, or dumping me in a dumpster. So I know she isn't a mean person, she just can be...difficult." Blaine put his hand on Kurt's which made both of them blush. Kurt was just so sincere. "You know, even if I was straight, I would've made sure to talk to you everyday since your freshman year." Kurt grinned and was sad when Blaine removed his hand from Kurt's. His hand was so big and warm and oh how Kurt could only dream that he could hold that hand forever. Blaine took a swig of his drink and looked outside the window next to him, enjoying the silence between them. He could sit here forever as long as he knew Kurt was beside him. Their silence was interrupted by the ringing of a phone which made both boys jump in surprise. A woman answered the phone while running outside the shop leaving both laughing at their own reactions. "Well, I think I better get home. I have homework I need to finish." Kurt stood up and left after saying goodbye to Blaine. Once home Kurt flopped down onto his bed. His first day of a fear-free school had been exhausting for some reason. He had still flinched out loud noises and when he turned corners but that would eventually go away in time. He sighed and hopped on his laptop and began writing an essay for English. About 30 minutes later his phone started buzzing and he decided to take a quick break to check it. It was from Mercedes.

_Hey boo! Mr. Schue sent several of us emails of who we're competing against. Wanna know? - M_

_Oh my gosh yes! Tell me Cedes! Tell me! - K_

_It's the Dalton Academy Warblers and some old people - M_

_Hmmm. Never heard of  the Warblers before. And really? Your just gonna call them 'some old people'? - K_

_Yes, because there is no way we'll get beat by the other group. All we have to worry about is the Warblers. - M_

_Okay. Well leave me alone now. I have a essay to finish. - K_

_Sure thing white boy. - M_

But instead of going back to his essay, Kurt got online and looked up the Warblers. He found the Dalton website but decided to simply look at images of this all-boys school show choir. A bunch of old timey photos popped up so he typed in the current year. Kurt scrolled down and one single image stopped his movements completely.

Blaine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOOOO! Hope you guys liked that cliffhanger. Until next week!


	8. The Truth Can Kill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took so long, again I had writers block and I've been planning for my wedding so I haven't had much time. But here is a new chapter, hopefully I can stop writing author's notes cause I can see how it would get annoying haha. Hope you enjoy this extra long chapter where a lot of stuff happens. Also there is a certain event that revolves around suicide, so I put a trigger warning so if your not comfortable reading it, you can skip it.   
> And yes, it's getting that dark.

Blaine......

 

He was standing amongst all the uniformed boys smiling proudly holding a plaque that said their group's name. And as Kurt's eyes traveled around, he saw Sebastian standing in the back left corner. Kurt's heart dropped and he slowly shut his computer, trying to not jump to conclusions. Of course there was a possibility that they were actually spies sent to get info, and they were pretending to be him and the New Directions friends. But there was other possibilities too. Maybe there was an important reason they left and either something bad happened to them both, or they knew it would bring a fuss if they revealed they were once apart of the enemy. And as much as a part of Kurt's brain was telling him they were spies, his heart told him it just couldn't be true. There was no way Blaine would do all of what he did to someone he was trying to take advantage of, Kurt just knew Blaine couldn't be that cruel. And although him and Sebastian weren't close and his attitude was......a bit much, Sebastian had helped even gain the courage to tell someone and he didn't want to believe that he was also just using him. Kurt opened Blaine's contact and contemplated whether or not to mention his finding to Blaine. He wouldn't be surprised if tomorrow morning, him and Sebastian were bombarded with questions and accusations from everyone else. If Blaine and Sebastian weren't spies, then they might end up telling him themselves when they're ready, and as thanks for what they had done for him, he didn't want to be one of those people who ruined that for them. Kurt nodded to himself at his decision and sighed heavily. In the end, he still didn't know what to make of this and how he should react. He typed in a text and sent it to Blaine.

_Hey, I'm taking a break from that grueling essay I have to write for today. Do you have any irritable homework you want to get away from? -K_

Kurt waited for a reply as he twiddled his thumbs. He had three more days to write it and he just couldn't think straight with what he had found and needed the rest of the afternoon to think and text Blaine. A part of him only doing so to remind himself of what a good guy Blaine was and how he could never do this to someone. His phone lit up when Blaine replied and Kurt hurriedly read it.

_Good for you. And no I don't. I finished all my homework at lunch, so I'm just being bored. At least now I won't be with you texting me ;) -B_

Kurt smiled fondly. See, Blaine was kind and nice, not dishonest and mean. And Kurt couldn't help but blush at his last sentence, if only Blaine liked him in that way. But Kurt was used to never having his feelings returned, so he didn't feel as sad as he usually would. He was happy that he could at least call him his best friend and not make the latter uncomfortable. Kurt texted his reply.

_Aww, you make me blush. Also, screw you for not having as much work as me. I'm only calmed by the fact that you'll know my pain soon enough. -K_

Kurt giggled at his response. He could be so sassy an he wasn't afraid to admit it. He just hoped Blaine wouldn't take it the wrong way.

_Well your attitude changed quick Mr. Grumpypants! Your almost as bad as Sebastian when it comes to mood swings. Please don't be. I can only take one amount of them. -B_

Kurt laughed out loud and calmed himself down. He looked at the text again and his thoughts about earlier crept back into his mind. Without thinking he texted something he didn't intentionally want to mention.

_So I heard our competition is some old people group and a Glee Club called, "The Warblers". -K_

After sending the text, he instantly regretted it. He probably had made things awkward and he wouldn't be surprised if Blaine didn't text him back for a while. But he was instead surprised when Blaine replied only five minute later.

_Yeah, I got the email from Mr. Schue. Looks like our only real competition is these Warblers. -B_

Kurt read the text and was just a little confused. So, it was confirmed that his past presence at Dalton was something he was keeping a secret. But all that was now left to figure out was, why? Again he knew he was going to wait, but seeing Blaine keeping a secret like that still hurt a tad bit. Him and Kurt were supposed to be best friends, so Blaine should know that he could tell Kurt anything and he would never judge him. There must have been a good reason why he was hiding this from Kurt, and he hoped more than anything that it wasn't the first possibility. After realizing he had to reply at some point, Kurt texted Blaine a good night message. He just needed time to think about everything.

_Ok, well I'll see you tomorrow Kurt. Night! -B_

And with that, Kurt pulled the covers over his head and did nothing but think, for the rest of the night, about he would do anything if it meant that Blaine wouldn't have been using him all this time.

 

Kurt that morning was nothing but groggy and grumpy. He had stayed up later than he had meant to last night and wanted to lock himself in his room and sleep. It was only Wednesday and Friday never seemed so far away. He had decided before finally falling asleep to do nothing but push every single thought he had towards this situation and just wait. Blaine would come to him eventually and he trusted him to.   
So after pouring himself a bowl of cereal, dressing for the day, and gathering his school work together, he climbed into his car and drove to school. Once there, he exited it and entered the school, still marveling at how he wasn't met with a shove into a locker or having been called a name, yet still getting glares every now or then. After stopping by his locker, he closed the door only to be face to face with Rachel. He jumped a little as he wasn't expecting her to be there. She smiled up at him and said, "Hello Kurt. I just found out some juicy news that you'll be both surprised and amazed to know." Kurt sighed quietly. Of course Rachel found out, he wasn't at all surprised at her being the one to find out. And he knew she was happy because then Blaine wouldn't steal her thunder anymore.   
"What is it Rachel? I need to get to class." Rachel let out a quick squeal and said the one thing he never would have guessed.  
"Blaine's single!"   
Kurt's mouth fell open at her remark as she jumped up and down slightly. He looked around, making sure no one was in hearing distance and pulled her closer.   
"So what if Blaine's single? Why is that something that you're getting excited over? I hope you know that he's gay and you have a boyfriend Rachel. A boyfriend that is my brother and I won't let you hurt him or so help me I'll-" Rachel clapped her hand over his mouth and giggled. "Geez Kurt, I'm not excited for me, but for you my dear friend." Kurt cocked his head to the side in confusion. Rachel noticed this and shook her head.   
"I was thinking....that you're gay, he's gay, and you obviously like each other. So I was letting you know that you have a chance to hook up with him." Kurt scoffed and leaned against his locker. Sure he liked Blaine and he was more than happy he had met a guy he actually had a fair chance of gaining certain attention from said guy for once. But there was no way Blaine liked him, at least, not like that. Kurt couldn't just expect the first other gay guy in Ohio to like him back. He would not make that mistake again.   
"We're not going to hook up Rachel. We're only best friends and nothing more. Besides, he doesn't 'obviously' like me in a romantic way. It would be useless to chase him and I don't want to ruin our friendship because of my feelings." Rachel scowled at Kurt's reply. Was he really that oblivious to Blaine's loving stares and smiles? It was almost like Blaine couldn't stop from being so obvious about his feelings for Kurt. God, was this going to be irritating. They were going to be one of those stupid "will they or won't they" couples and she could see it driving her insane. Even Finn had noticed, thought he had said that he would kill Blaine if he ended up hurting Kurt in any way after all that he had been through. She had noticed Finn becoming extremely protective of his little brother, he didn't like the term step-brother, and it was absolutely endearing considering him and Kurt's past drama. It was also nice to know that Kurt would equally avenge his big brother if someone hurt him, even if it was her.   
Rachel smiled and put her hand on Kurt's shoulder and said gently, "Kurt, trust me, it's not useless. Just....every now and then glance at him in Glee and you'll catch him staring at you. He does it every day. Please don't be oblivious like in the movies." And with that, Rachel strutted down the hallway and hooked arms with Finn, who sent Kurt a big smile before directing his smiles to Rachel. Kurt just rolled his eyes and looked at the clock, he still had ten minutes before his next class and he didn't know what to do till then. At least, until a finger tapped him on the back, causing Kurt to spin around and smile at the sight of gelled hair and a red bowtie come into view.  
"Well hello there. Nice of you to show up and distract me from my boredom." Blaine chuckled and opened his locker, every now and then glancing at Kurt, who was leaning against his own locker and staring happily at Blaine in their own comfortable silence. It was so weird how doing this with anyone else would be extremely awkward, but with each other, it was the complete opposite. And although neither of them knew it, it was undoubtedly because of the feelings they had for the other.  
After Blaine had gotten what he needed to get, they walked to each of their class.

Blaine put his head in his hands and closed his eyes. He was a terrible person. Next week he would have to reveal his reason for being at this school and transfer back to Dalton with Sebastian. More than anything, he was dreading telling Kurt the truth and earn his hatred. Kurt would be incredibly mad at what Blaine was doing, especially after all they had been through. Even Sebastian was not looking forward to his future confession, as he had unbelievably become quite fond of the boy and his attitude. Blaine felt like he was going to die. He wasn't even sure that he could keep this secret for even another week and he was seriously considering telling Kurt on Friday so he wouldn't see him for the weekend to witness his anger for too long. And as the day went one, he kept talking to Sebastian about it and by the end of school, Blaine decided he would tell Kurt on Friday.

And after another two long days, Friday afternoon rolled around and he had invited Kurt over to his house to which he said that he would. They drove in separate cars and Blaine's heart was racing. He wished that he could back out, but he had told Kurt he had something important to tell him so he couldn't. And as they sat on Blaine's bed for a couple minutes in tensed silence, Blaine made a sign that he was going to speak but Kurt held his hand up.  
"Actually Blaine, I need to tell you something too. I've tried to keep it to my self, bu I just can't anymore." Kurt's eyes flickered down to his slightly shaking hands and looked back up at Blaine, who was nodding as a reply. Kurt took a deep breathe and began speaking. "So, after Mercedes told me about who our competition was, I ended up researching the Warblers. And....I ended up finding a picture of them that was taken this current year...with you in it." Kurt watched as Blaine's eyes widened and fill with what looked like panic. His mind sent him alarms that this meant something bad, but he continued anyway. "I just.....I want to know why you're at Mckinley now and why you had to transfer. I might need to add that I did think that there was a possibility that you're here to spy on us, but I trust and know that you didn't transfer here for that reason. Right?" Blaine's heart fell when he saw the hope and certainty in Kurt's eyes. Kurt was so sure that Blaine wasn't doing that to him. And at the same time, Kurt's heart stung when Blaine's response was the drop of his head and sadness filling his eyes. Blaine looked up at Kurt and said nothing, hoping Kurt would get the hint. Instead, Kurt shook his head and said, "Blaine, tell me that's not the reason you transferred." Blaine just looked away and said two words that broke Kurt's heart into pieces.  
"I can't."  
Kurt swallowed and laughed as tears threatened to spill over. "This isn't funny. I can't have you kidding around about this." His voice cracked on the last word as a tear streamed down his cheek. Blaine peered up at Kurt and died inside when he saw that Kurt wasn't just filled with anger, but with pain far worse than when he had cried about Karofsky. He had hurt Kurt more deeply than he thought but what the hell did he expect. Kurt shook his head vigorously and threw his hands to his cheeks as he wiped away the tears and shouted, "I trusted you Blaine, with everything! I told you about Karofsky, about my past failed crushes, about the times I wanted to hurt myself and I trusted that this wasn't going to be the truth! How could you do this to me!?" Blaine put his hands over his head and tried to figure out what to say. He really didn't want to lose Kurt, but he couldn't find an answer to his question. Kurt took note of this and his cries only became louder. He looked at Blaine and suddenly dropped to his knees in front of him. Blaine, who had heard the thump that came with it, looked at Kurt. "Please....please.....tell me this is a cruel joke. I'll....I promise I'll forgive you....so stop joking...please." Blaine tried to reach out and touch Kurt's cheek, only for his hand to be swatted away as Kurt shot up.   
"Your such a liar!! I can't believe I said you were my best friend and had a crush on you!" Kurt screamed, him and Blaine's eyes widening when that came out of his mouth. But Kurt quickly recovered from it.  
"You had a-" Blaine began, but was soon cut off by Kurt who's eyes had filled again with pain and anger. "Yes Blaine, I liked you! And you probably knew too, only for you to take advantage of them just for your stupid Glee Club!" Blaine shook his head saying he didn't, but Kurt wasn't having any of it, "And why should I believe anything you say anymore?! I never want to speak to you ever again you jerk! Just leave me the hell alone from now on and just transfer the hell back with Sebastian!" And without Blaine being able to say a word, Kurt turned and ran out of Blaine's room in broken sobs. Blaine was left still sitting on the edge of his bed, but now his own tears trailing down his face. He had done this. This was his doing. His fault. He had broken Kurt into a million pieces.

Once home, Kurt ran upstairs to his bedroom, ignoring Finn asking him what was wrong and cried into his pillow. He felt so stupid for thinking that he had finally won his happiness, for believing that there was someone out there who truly understood him and his pain. This feeling was even worse than what he felt after Karofsky kissed him. Someone who he believed to be his best friend, who he had trusted everything about himself to, had been using him all this time for their own stupid advantage. He felt like he was going to die.....die...  
(*TRIGGER WARNING*)  
Kurt sat up and looked at his desk before getting up and rummaging through the drawers, still sobbing madly, and stopped when his hand landed on a pair of large scissors. He slowly took them out and looked carefully at the blade, his past memories of being pushed into lockers, being called names, being slushied, being thrown in a dumpster, getting those calls at home, and finally the truth of why Blaine had befriended him. He was an ugly fag that nobody genuinely liked and he knew life would be easier for his dad, Carol, Finn, and the rest of the New Directions if he was gone. He stumbled into the bathroom and closed the door behind him turning to look in the mirror at his ugly wet face. He quickly held out his wrist and grimaced at how girly and frail they looked. He opened up the scissors and dragged it harshly across it, drawing flowing blood that stung as if his hand had been cut off. He dropped to the floor in agony as his blood spilled continuously out of his wrist. After it started to feel numb, he took that opportunity to do the same to the other one. And soon enough, everything went pitch black with feelings of both regret and bliss filling Kurt's thoughts.

 

The next day at Glee, Blaine and Sebastian sat down with the rest of the Glee Club and waited for Mr. Schue, who had not been seen all day by the students, yet were informed that he would show for practice. Blaine wasn't surprised when Kurt and Finn didn't show up that day though. Kurt was obviously staying home to cope and Finn was probably trying to figure out how he was going to murder Blaine for hurting his little brother. Everyone else was curious why they were absent, and it Blaine kinda felt relieved that Kurt didn't tell anyone else, as selfish as it was. Him and the rest of the Glee Club eyes filled with surprise and confusion when Mr. Schue walked in the choir room followed by Ms. Pillsbury, Coach Sylvester, and Mr. Figgins. They chatted for a moment before Ms. Pillsbury stepped forward with eyes full of tears. She spoke softly at first but her voice eventually spoke up.   
"As you all have probably noticed, Finn and Kurt are not present today and I imagine by your attitudes that Finn hasn't contacted any of you. Well, we are all here to tell you now why as it would probably be best if you were surrounded by your friends for this news." Everyone looked at each other, worried. This had to be extremely serious. "We will be holding a assembly later this afternoon and we would like for you to perform there.....for Kurt."   
"What are you talking about Ms. Pillsbury? Why do we need to have a assembly for Kurt? Is he finally being praised for all the solos he hasn't gotten?" Santana said. She was trying to sound like she didn't care, but everyone could hear the worry in her voice. Ms. Pillsbury broke down into tears and ran out of the room, leaving the other teachers and principle looking down at their shoes. After another minute, Mr. Schue looked over at the kids and let out a huff of air.  
"Kurt attempted suicide last night and is currently in the hospital recovering."

Silence.


	9. Wow, Another Author's Note.....

I have come to the decision that for right now I only want to focus on my other fic, "Our Fresh Start" for various reasons.

1\. Something bad happened to my computer and a bunch of chapters for this fic that I had written and saved were erased completely. So it will take me time to remember what I had wanted to do with this story and re-write it.

2\. I really wanted to focus on one fic to begin with and a lot of stuff is going on in my life, like planning my wedding and helping a friend who is suffering from depression, and it will calm my brain to know I only have to worry about updating one fic and not two.

I promise I'm not abandoning it and it won't take me months to pick this up again. I hope you who enjoy this fic understand and I promise with all of my heart that this fic will get finished in time. Thank you for reading!


	10. Important Announcement!

Hello fellow readers of this fic. This is a friend of the author who is here to inform you guys that there will be no updates for a while as the author has been admitted to the hospital due to a car accident. She's okay, just recovering from some major injuries. I'm sorry and I don't know for sure if she'll be able to come back for a long time and if she doesn't, I hope you guys understand the circumstances. In case this is the last time you'll hear from us, thank you for reading.


End file.
